Sunday, September 25, 2011

What's Up Doc?

I can't stress how much I've learned in the ER. For example:

"Psoriasis" and "Cirrhosis"while sounding incredibly similar are not the same thing.  Psoriasis are dry patches on the skin while cirrhosis has to do with a scarred fibrous liver. Yep. Not the same thing.

This particular story happened on my second training shift.  I was being trained by one of my company's bosses and was already incredibly nervous.  We have an electronic tracking board that shows the patient's room number, name, age, chief complaint, and so on and so forth. The doc I was working with signed up for a male with the CC of Priapism. Now, being green with only 2 shifts under my belt and an anatomy class for reference, I had no freaking clue what this was.

"What's priapism?"

"I'm not going to tell you. You'll just see what's up."

We walked into this poor man's room, it didn't take a doctor to figure out what this patient's issue was. I could tell by the small tent made from the man's sheet. 

Priapism- is fancy for an erection that lasts longer than 4 hours.

His had lasted 10 days.  Immediately I turn bright red.  All I could think about was how awful this must be for this middle aged guy that a girl, who looks roughly 16, had to witness.  I did my best to keep a straight face, completely red, but impartial, while my doc took his history and did the physical.  Apparently he hadn't taken any male performance drugs, and this was spontaneous. But 10 days? What the hell do you do with a boner for 10 days?

Ring toss....I like to think ring toss.

We walk out of the room, I gain composure, but not before being asked by my doc to CONFIRM with the patient that he had this erection for 10 days.  In case you're wondering what they do for a 10 day erection, they have surgically reduce it. As a result you spend the rest of your life impotent.

Lesson for males: If this happens to you seek medical attention immediately.

Priapism, that's what's up.


No comments:

Post a Comment